You have a sexy face

If I had a £ for every time someone told me I have a sexy face, I’d be on Forbes 50 under 50 List. Straight men love to tell women (some women) that we are owners of sexy faces. They think they are being complimentary. I would like to correct that assertion right here, right now, once and for all.

‘Sexy’ puts me in a box — its a box which is limited to shagging and that’s it. So when someone tells me I have a sexy face, I bristle — and rightly so. Some people have made entire careers out of being told that they are sexy and they have monetised that and commodified every part of their lives to keep trading off being ‘sexy’ *cough all of the Kardashian-Jenners apart from Rob because what is he*. ‘Sexy’ tends to mean that you are out of bounds for serious relationships. Men assume that you will be fiyah in the bedroom but not to be trusted with an emotional attachment. So sexy is actually an insult. When you don’t know what you want, and are content to be playing the field, sexy is fine. But when you have done/are doing the hard work and are opening yourself up to emotional investment, but you keep getting told that you have a sexy face, don’t you just want to snap their necks?

I would strongly urge anyone reading this who is mildly interested in dating me to NOT lead with ‘You have a sexy face.’ I will block you.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.